It’s a quiet spot, yet each name etched into the large stone tablets speaks loudly of love, loss, regret, and a yearning for closure.
There is row upon row of the first names — and sometimes a first and middle name.
Among them are Patrick, Faith, Selah, Mikey, Paxtyn, Jacob, Anna, Jesop, Collin, Kamrin, Gracie, Lee Allen, Jessie, Keivonte and Racshiona.
These are babies who never got a look at the big world around them.
Many were miscarried, and some were willingly or unwillingly aborted.
But they haven’t been forgotten, and being given names is recognition they were real and deserve to have an identity.
This is the Memorial of Names, otherwise known as “Project Rachel,” and it is at the rear of St. Louis Cemetery off South Main Street in Henderson.
It is sponsored by Holy Name Church, but available to anyone of any denomination or no denomination who grieves the baby still carried in the heart.
On a large, black granite monument is the image of the biblical mourning Rachel, holding roses, and the words, “I will never forget you.” The tablets with names flank each side of the monument, and their front is completely covered, but only a few names are on the back.
In the book of Jeremiah, Rachel weeps over “her children” as they are carried off into captivity in Babylon. Jeremiah 31: 15-17 reads, “Rachel mourns for her children. She refuses to be consoled because her children are no more. Thus says the Lord: Cease your cries of mourning. Wipe the tears from your eyes. The sorrow you have shown shall have its reward. There is hope for our future.”
This monument, in a garden setting with holly trees, shrubs and stone benches, was put in place in October, 2002, and evidence of visitation covers the foot of the marker.
There are tiny teddy bears, numerous ceramic angels, a small silver picture frame, bunnies, frogs, a single red silk rose, Santas and crosses.
In the earlier years, there were many calls to the Holy Name Parish Office, requesting the name of a lost baby be added to the monument. All calls are confidential, and there is no charge for the engraving. Only first names, or first and middle names are used.
Perhaps because many people don’t know about the monument and its purpose, recent years have seen quite a decline in those calls.
Staff member Kaye Villines noted last week names have been added quarterly, with advertised memorial services marking those occasions.
Because I intended to remind the public of the existence of the monument, last week I visited the area whose entrance is a large arch with a cross at the top. There was some evidence of vandalism — not a lot, but enough to make one wonder why anyone would fail to respect a memorial that has such meaning.
The Rachel Monument here followed the 1994 creation of a Memorial of Names in Owensboro by the Catholic Parishes of Owensboro.
The marker in St. Louis Cemetery had a generous donation by Henry and Henry Monuments in Henderson, and church literature relates, “Because the memorial gives permanent testimony to the existence of the little one, the memorial becomes a place where the survivors can come to remember, to mourn, and hopefully begin to heal.”
Project Rachel, which has memorials in more than 100 dioceses across the country, began in 1984 in the Diocese of Milwaukee as a ministry of healing and reconciliation to those who had lost children through abortion. Gradually, that ministry expanded to include the babies lost to miscarriage.
Traditionally, our society has had no means to observe these situations, and all too often even well-meaning friends and relatives tell those who have experienced the sorrow to “try to get over it and move on.”
Without some form of closure, that is especially difficult.
If you or someone you know would benefit from naming a lost child, call the Holy Name Parish office at 270-826-2096.
Maybe a name for the baby had long ago been chosen, but never revealed. Now it can be.
Judy may be reached via judyjenkins@insightbb.com
